


It Doesn't F*cking Matter Anymore

by Lost_in_stars



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Billy Hargrove is depressed and I'm going to help him, Depression, Gay Billy Hargrove, M/M, Pining, and then i didn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-02 17:17:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21165284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lost_in_stars/pseuds/Lost_in_stars
Summary: Billy was overcome by a bone-deep depression, forcing him to stay in bed everyday for as long as he could. He wasn't just tired, he was fucking exhausted, simply from existing.





	It Doesn't F*cking Matter Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so. I was thinking about this while in the car today, and then I tried to write it and it definitely didn't turn out the way I wanted. I'm kind of sad right now, so it turned out sad as well, I guess. Ugh. Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Tommy was drunk.

He swayed around the party, beer spilling out of the bottle, tumbling into random people who pushed him back to his feet. He shouted as he did so, calling for attention. “People!” He roared, raising his bottle. “People of Hawkins! I come to you with a proposal!”

At the back of the party, leaning against a wall, was Billy Hargrove. He wore a black shirt and jeans. His earring was gone, as was his usual spark. In fact, most of the fire inside of him was gone since that monster had gotten a hold of him. Yet, he was still at Carol’s party, because he was trying desperately to be normal. It wasn't working. The entire party he had been pressed against the hideous tulip wallpaper in the lounge room, sipping on lemonade (he had quit drinking) and taking long drags from his cigarette. He wasn't the only wallflower at the party. Steve Harrington was also there, a few meters away, humming along to the thumping music as he watched the dancers. He had been approached twice by a group of girls, and each time they had walked away with frowns on their faces. Now, it seemed, that Billy had lost his badass title, and Steve was regaining his rep, no matter how much he rejected them.

Not if Tommy had anything to say about it. The freckled boy had been drinking excessively all night, and now it seemed as if the booze wasn't for fun, but for liquid courage. He had an announcement to make. Billy and Steve were both watching curiously, wondering what he was going to say.

“Ladies and gentleman, lend me your ears!”

Most of the teenagers had turned their attention towards Tommy at this point, apart from those who were passed out on the couch or too stoned out of their mind to care. Even couple who wouldn't even stop making out when the cops burst in had pulled away to look at each other.

“I say you elect me your new king of Hawkins!” Tommy cried out, throwing both arms into the air. Billy raised an eyebrow.

“And why should we do that?” Somebody from the crowd called out, playing along with the act. “Give us a reason!”

“Because,” Tommy slowly surveyed the room, his eyes coming to a rest on Billy. The rest of the crowd followed his gaze, turning to stare at Billy as well. He took a long drag of his cigarette and scowled, listening as Tommy continued. “If you elect me, we’ll get rid of all of the nasty little _queers_.”

In an instant, Billy was pushing himself off the wall and lunging towards Tommy, shoving him as hard as he could. “You calling me a queer?!” He growled, grabbing Tommy’s blue shirt and tugging him closer. “You calling me a fucking queer?”

“Oh come on,” Tommy slurred, reaching up to shove Billy off him. “It was only a matter of time before I figured it out, you freak. The way you look at guys – the way you look at _Steve_!”

A gasp rippled through the room, and Billy felt his entire face turning pink as he glanced over at Steve, who’s eyes had widened to the size of an owls. Tommy continued to speak. “You keep saying you belong in California! Well, ‘s true! You belong there with all the other fucking queens, you _faggot_!”

Billy raised his fist, ready to punch that fucker as hard as he could, when he felt a hand on his hip. Steve was pulling him back, his arms locked around Billy’s waist. “Stop,” The boy said so quietly that Billy could barely hear him against the loud thumping of his heart. “He’s not worth it, Billy. Come on, go home. Forget it.”

Once there was a time where Billy would have pushed Steve away and turned to punch Tommy. But that time was gone. Instead, Billy felt himself involuntarily melt into Steve’s arms, resting his head against the boy’s shoulder. “Fucking hate him,” He murmured. “I fucking hate this town.”

How, he wondered, did Steve manage this bullshit? Because Billy was overcome by a bone-deep depression, forcing him to stay in bed everyday for as long as he could. He wasn't just tired, he was fucking _exhausted_, simply from existing.

Fuck it, he decided. Fuck it. He didn't care anymore. His dad was kicking him out as soon as he could, and he was eighteen in a month or two anyway. What did it matter? He was going back to California soon. He didn't care, he didn't fucking care.

He tilted his head back, grabbed Steve by the hair, and planted a big, sloppy kiss on him. Instantly, the room went completely silent. Billy scoffed, flipped off the teenagers, and left the party with his lips tingling. Steve didn't chase after him, nor did anyone who wanted to beat him up. Because fuck it, just fuck it. It didn't fucking matter anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I hope you enjoyed. You probably didn't, its sad. Anyway, if you wanted to follow my tumblr, its xxlost-in-starsxx . So uh follow me for shitty reblogs lol


End file.
